Hello fans, many of you at one time or another have asked yourself just that. Am I A Freak? Some of you are into anal sex, and you won’t just say to your best bud “Hey Joe, boy was I fucked big time by my wife’s girl cock last night”. You sometimes wonder how many of your friends have done this, and what they might say or think if they found out, and you say to yourself “they will think I’m a freak”. Today I’m going to talk about that mindset and offer my interpretation and application of your less than mainstream desires. Notice what I did there? I took the personal and emotional connotations to the word “Freak” and placed it exactly where it belongs, neutralized.
Am I A Freak
Let’s look at the word Freak. According to Merriam Webster the word freak is not a negative term, only one subset with a “sexual” element. In this definition it has no negative meaning IMO. Some of the meanings and usage of the word freak are: a seemingly capricious action or event:[archaic] : a whimsical quality or disposition; an ardent enthusiast and finally the one which best represents most folks view of the word freak: [slang](1): a sexual deviate.
Deviate meaning someone who parts from traditional norms. So where is the negativity? Nothing here is wrong or negative. I actually take quite amount of pride of being a deviant. Mainstream be dammed, they do not live my life and I owe nothing to them.On my deathbed will I be concerned with the faceless masses whose ideals and desires don’t match mine? Or am I going to feel grateful and a peace knowing I lead a full life, exploring my human experience , including my sexuality to its fullest extent?
Phone Sex Calls Are More Than Sex
It’s true, sure some calls , or even most calls involve masturbation at some level. Either the caller is gaining fantasy fodder (spank bank material) for later, or for on the call, and sometimes to orgasm with me. But most will be surprised to know a good portion of what I do is help people come to terms with their kinky nature.
I agree our upbringing and early conditioning may cause a great deal of consternation and self doubt for many and that’s one of the big reasons I’m here. I’m here to tell you and help you accept that mainstream isn’t for everyone. Being different is what makes you special. Makes you worthwhile.
Am I A Freak? I hope so!
Mistress Experiences, Am I Freak
I had a call recently which prompted me to write this blog. A new to me person called “just to talk”. Turns out their desire for bisexual experiences lead them to my ear. Nervous they were, never called a “sex line” before. He was , understandably, very nervous but quickly calmed under my sensual charm. I urged him to tell me of his desires, his struggles.
He shared his dream , to be able to be “Who he was” in public. But was locked in a life which prohibits his exploration. That he has come to a point in his life where he wants more. Despondent because he saw no way out, I offered him a way. Of course it won’t happen over a span of a ten minute call. But help is here for you, I told him.
Towards the end of the call he said “this was stupid calling you, I’m such freak, a loser for even doing this.” I did what I could to assure him that he is not alone, not a freak and not a loser! Many guys call to talk with me and “not get off”. That the trouble lies in our society not in your desires. I offered him some out of session email support and wished him well. I hope he is.
Freak and Humiliation
I am telling you now, doing what I do, you get a feel for people. He has bisexual desires, but was not calling me for Bisexual Humiliation. There wasn’t arousal with humiliation, and was NOT getting off on it. This was a sentient being in pain over what his desires are, and how society tells him he’s wrong. In Pain because his life has been a sham and he can’t find a way out.
It took all of my wherewithal not to break down in tears, for him, on that call. My mind screamed “THIS IS SO WRONG, He should never be made to feel this way!”. To show a bit more of my human side I’ll make a confession: I’m tearing up now writing about it to you.
I Take Kink Seriously
I have fun with all kinds of kink, I’m an affable Woman and prone to find humor and joke about most things. This does not mean I take our sessions, your sexuality or you, insincerely. Lightheartedness aside, I take My role seriously and what My power can do to you. So with an abundance of knowledge and skill we engage in all sorts of kinky play including Humiliation.
Do I have fun with humiliation? I sure do, but when it’s for erotic purposes. I do not randomly humiliate those who don’t have an erotic response to humiliation, just because I can. Do I call some gay people freaks and sluts? Absolutely, but again , its a controlled environment for the right person and place. For those who enjoy humiliation it’s a release of pent up emotions and a way of expressing them in a safe environment.
So although I dole out humiliation like an after party mint and happily do so, I also understand when it’s not needed or wanted. In the example above, it wasn’t needed.
In Conclusion
Identifying as a Freak isn’t a bad thing, necessarily, it’s your interpretation of the meaning which “may be bad”. You are Not a freak just because your desires are not mainstream. But if you are a little like me, enjoy kinky play which would have others clutching their proverbial pearls then mainstream be damned!
I proudly wave My Freak Flag!
Great blog. If we were all more tolerant of others, we as a society would be in a much better place.
Thank you C!
Good afternoon mistress. Great blog. I’m happy and I’ve told you personally how much I appreciate you. You have helped me get in touch with my “freak” and I can never thank you enough for being there for me.
Aww Bob!
The subscribe feature was removed so I’m no longer prompted when I get comments!
Thank you for your words Bob, they help and comfort me!
I think even those in the so-called mainstream have fantasies they will not divulge.I think many in the mainstream also are afraid to pursue some of their fantasies.Sexuality to me is a playground.Healthy sexual fantasies should be enjoyed.Have fun.Do not overthink it.I see nothing wrong with keeping parts of one’s sexual life and identity private.Afterall,we keep other parts of our life private.Sexuality is only part of our life.One has many other responsibilities and pursuits in life.I do believe society at times spends way too much time worrying about others sex orientation and sexual habits as life is much more than that.
Mistress Erika mentions the importance of having someone just to talk to.Healthy human relationships are so important.We are social creatures.We need to feel valued.Mistress Erika offers a lending ear,friendship,a kind heart, enthusiasm,a zest for life and more.Each of us needs to follow her lead.Thankyou.
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GiGi! What wise words, I’m very touched. You make some very valid points and I hope they help someone out there reading today……..
Freak is a harsh hardcore word. While the mainstream may think we are freaks I don’t think so. As long as it’s safe and legal then what’s the problem as long as no one is getting hurt. With my cross dressing going on for over 20 years this is who I am and become as women’s clothes/bras/panties/lipsticks/
makeup/wigs/dresses fit and feel sooo much better then my guy clothes. Seeing how I look dressed up as a girl I really do look better this way. I’m so greatful I have you and the other ldw mistresses doing this to me along with my friend who’s accepted who I am and become in dressing me to. This is the relationship I want to have and now I’m in. With my buying of women’s clothes this is part of my life forever and plan on continuing this along with her and calling all of you for and long long long time.
Paulina you are our precious creampuff! XOXO
Good blog post Goddess Erika. Everything would be better if people were more tolerant. I am a freak. I love feet and to afraid to ask a women out on a date does make me weird. Then again i can’t kiss women’s feet in public. I like the comment about you giving out humiliation like an after party mint. That made me laugh.
Thank you tiny pet.
LOL as you make ME laugh , cause YOU Know it’s true. I’m your sensual teasing Goddess one moment and your mean Mistress the next!
😉 *Wiggles toes*
Mistress Erika,
What a wonderful and thoughtful blog post. Only from YOU! you continue to amaze. No one should feel “freak” with you. They should realize their inner most desires and experience the wonderful freedom that can be theirs. no one is better guiding them down the road than you.
Your C&N Cum Slut and Boy Toy Tom
Hey Tom, thank you! I appreciate your sentiments. You have a very good point, and I hope many realize what you just said through this posting
If i what we do is freaky ….then let my freak flag fly!
Yaaaaaaaaay!
Nice post as always Ms Erika !! and I must admit, its so much fun being a Freak !! lol xoxos !!
🙂 TY VIOLA!