Introducing Kink is the next entry to my Kink For Couples Series. All names and other identifying information have been changed to protect the naughty. If we’ve chatted about how kink has evolved in your bedroom then you’ll probably see yourself. I want to thank you for your contributions to my post, and being a motivating factor in doing this series. Please understand every couple is different and the motivation for this series is to show you that it is possible to spice things up in your bedroom, if you have a motivated couple.
Introducing Kink To Your Partner
Communication is key. Developing a non-judgemental , patient and frustration free atmosphere is a must! “Mike” , for example, went from having vanilla “good” sex with his lovely partner to playing with erotic chastity! He likes the idea of chastity, because it helps him feel submissive. But since his partner wasn’t necessarily Dominant or is aroused by “holding a key” in the sense I would, they had many talks out of the bedroom about what chastity means to them both.
During one conversation he admitted he truly only wanted to engage in sex if she wanted to, and suggested it. But sometimes his male sex drive, he felt, made it difficult for him not to try and “push for sex”. He felt she acquiesced only because of his instance. He wasn’t proud of that behavior and thought she deserved more.
This line of reasoning, combined with his patience with introducing kink, got her attention. Curiosity. she did enjoy his suggestion that chastity helps him focus on her, and when there is absolutely no reason or chance for him to engage sexually with his penis. He suggested the next time they went out of town, away from the pressures and responsibilities of life it would be “Her” weekend. They would “experiment” and They spent the next several weeks looking at , learning about and ordering a chastity cage for them to play with.
Getting Kinky With Toys
Introducing Kink
Still another client “Clint”, and his partner who is a bit more open and confident sexually, so he confessed, over some pillow talk, about an interest in bringing some toys to spice things up in the bedroom. Bing-bang-boom, by that weekend they were at the adult bookstore picking out a bevy of naughty things for them to enjoy! Now the kinky thing is, he didn’t confess what toy, or exactly WHY he wanted to play with toys.
You See Clint has been into playing with his butt on calls, but was concerned that his partner would think he was gay! After several sessions, talking about “what to do now” he has the toys, how does he tell her he wants that DIL in his butt more than he wants it in her pussy!
Well, Clint was sent back to his partner with some assignments, ways to play and encourage a conversation about anal sex. First things first, and step by step!
What do you think is good advice for good Ol’ Clint? Comment below and if you wanna know I’ll follow up in a few days and with a comment “Fill you in”.
Remember introducing kink into your bedroom is a journey and should be fun!
Until we chat
Couples Kink Mistress Erika
Thanks for the insight into the folks calling in about couples play…. I can certainly relate to the chastity caller! If only FLR could become totally mainstream…. until they do it is awesome callers can find acceptance and guidance here 🙂
Princess, so true! Many will continue to enjoy our kinky play, yay! ????
Mistress Erika,
Another intelligent well written post from a Mistress that is sooooo perrrrrfect!
Your C&N cum slut boy Tom
???? Thank you Tom!
I’d love to tell my masseuse that I call you and the other mistresses about how all of you have made me your cream puff girl. She does have business to run and I totally respect this as I’m not sure how her reaction would be 🙁 she showed me how to do makeup/apply lipstick on my lips. She has me using same facial lotions and creams she uses as I’m under her control as she has me on rodan and fields skin care. I’ve cut back on massages to once a week for 2 hours as I told her I needed to do this and she was fine with this/I’ll still do waxings every 4 weeks with her. With this being done I’m going to still wear my women’s clothes/bra/panties along with ankle or knee high boots when I see her as well start wearing my breast forms. Though I’ve cut back I do want her to still be part of my life as we are stuck with one another all the time. Though she’s married and told me not to worry about her husband she really is in control of me. Should I tell her about you/ mistresses about helping me with my feminization?
As you’ve said, communication is the key. He try starting conversation about, “what it feels like when…”. So he can ask, what does it feel like when I put my fingers here or there. Then he can answer and say what it feels like for him.
It could lead to them going back on forth on different things, and then he can throw out (for any one of them). I’ve wondered what that feels like.
That was sort of how my not-yet-wife snowballed me for the first time. She had\has no issues with blowjobs or me finishing, but hates to swallow. One time before we started I asked about it, not that I cared either way, and she said, “do you want to try it?” Damn, did I!
Wellspanked! thanks for this comment! You and a few others are the inspiration to this series. Sometimes relationships as they are, don’t allow for much exploration, or perhaps “as much” kink as one partner may like. But taking steps like you have will always improve the intimacy and bond you have with your special someone.
One never knows how far another “will go” in their kinky-ness with providing a safe, welcoming space to explore.
Goddess Erika, Another great post. I like Your advice. This can help me introduce kink to my sex life. Which is always needed.
tftt, thank you! Which is needed? more kink to your sex life, or a sex life? ????
Goddess Erika, I guess a sex life is needed first because there is no need to add kink since i have never had sex in my life.