Wrapping up my Kink For Couples series, this week, I want to leave you with a few thoughts.
Have patience with yourself, and your partner. Just because she doesn’t seem to hop on board the kink train, at first, doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun experimenting and seeing what fits for you. Be sensitive you are providing that safe place to explore. Supportive comments, huge rewards for steps in the right direction. Understanding and support if she decides it’s a no go. Then try something else. Remember: Safe, Sane, Consensual always.
Kink For Couples No Right Or Wrong
You may try nipple play, for example. It may not be a home run , and your experience might leave you wondering what’s wrong? Don’t all the folks you read about, see on the internet become orgasmic from it? Well, sure some do. Some people are highly aroused,by that play. Some like it as part of other play. It’s not wrong if you or your partner doesn’t see fireworks, because of it. You’re learning what works for you. There is no right or wrong and when you live those words I know you’ll be pleased with the results. Try different things, try things at least 3 times! Give yourself time to work through anything awkward or strange, allowing your mind and body to fully experience………. the experience! Then
decide to leave it as part of the play, but not the main course or ditch it all together.
Kink Doesn’t Mean D/s
I would bet that a majority of folks who hear the work kink congers up images of leather clad Dominants. Tying up, using ball gags or hoods. Spanking or nipple
clamps and other assorted delights for their impact or sensation play with their submissive.
It can be a part of YOUR kink, sure. Kink is merely an unconventional sexual taste or behavior. It is what you make it. Isn’t that beautiful? You define your kink! Don’t worry about doing “what others do”. Meaning if you want to Dominate your partner and have them submit to your sexual whims, it doesn’t mean you have to engage in sensation or impact play. Feeling that power exchange which arouses many can come in many forms. What works for you.
For those of you who are turned on by the idea of being submissive to your partner, but perhaps that partner isn’t in tune with it. Let me introduce you to a term I’ve been discussing recently. Perhaps can flesh out these ideas and have some fun with it.
It’s the idea that a male partner is a strong, confident “Alpha Male” to the world. But when it comes to his partner, his Goddess, his power and strength are used to submit to her needs and desires. The idea is: he doesn’t submit because he is weak and his vulnerability leaves him powerless. It’s because it’s something which satisfies a need in him, to serve. A gift for her, for her to use his strength, his abilities in the most humble and intimate of ways.
Often in personal conversations , my pets do know I consider their submission a gift. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think the Alphasub arrangement would be more palatable for the “masses”.
Or is worshiping your Goddess still something unmanly.
Until we chat????
Mistress (Goddess) Erika, As you know I worship more than one Goddess. I am so LUCKY! You brought me to the point where I could have the other join me in a Tranny threesome! Your C&N Cum Slut Boy Tom
Tom! It’s been a total MF journey when you think about it ! You are a lucky slut! A tasty one at that! Thanks for stopping by!
Mistress Erika, I hesitate to ever correct you but i would say it has been a MIL F journey not MF. And I don’t mean MILF.
Your C&N Cumslut Boy Tom
Mmmmmmm….nipple play!!!…..Where did i leave those nipple clamps!
Mmmmmm princess, those pretty sissy nips need NO MERCY do they, hummmmmm? Mmmmmm!
What a delightful series
Always adore your insight Ma’am
Thank you Lexi gurl!
So enjoyed reading Your insights Goddess Erika. Even though i will never ever get a women. i do like the Alphasub arrangement. Then again i am not a man and can never be dominant.
Hey tftt! Thank you!
We know of your short cumings, peanut. Males like you serve Women in other ways. Tomorrow for instance. So Looking forward to it!
Great topic. I am finding great joy and fulfillment in serving by being confident, and proactive in serving my goddess. I think she appreciates it to. Anticipating her wants and desires, taking the stress of decisions off of her. Some might see the decision msking and her acceptance of them as not being submisdive at all, but I do it to serve. Because it is what I believe she wants. And foot rubs, dressing and undressing in front of her before and after showrs are personal ways that I feel submissive to her.
Erika, This is a fantastic blog post. I love how you make it clear that there is no right or wrong. I agree there should be no judgement and that as long as you both enjoy it there is no right or wrong just works for both of you. I also really appreciate and I am sure all of your readers did as well appreciated that kink does not necessarily mean D/s. I tend to say, kinky is a matter of perspective kinky might mean using a feather to one person and another person doesn’t think it’s kinky until a whole roasted chicken is involved. As long as each other is supportive and down to play and have a good time. I say, have a hell of a good time and enjoy!