Pain Pleasure and Trust are three elements that should embody any pain session. I had a great talk with a naughty pain pet, who wishes to remain anonymous but is ok with sharing his experience and thoughts. He’s fascinating and chatty and I spent most of the day with him. Let’s call him PCW, for pain cock whore. PCW enjoys pain play in many forms, and always considered himself heterosexual, augmented from a very religious background. Therefore you can imagine the many years of challenges and guilt to process when he started down that slippery slope!
Therefore, as you might expect his kink journey has required him to spend quality time in retrospection on the validity or more poignantly fluidity of his self-image as a hetero-presenting person.
PCW Is also into pain for the brain: Humiliation! It enhances his physical pain experience. His desires have evolved, wanting, needing more humiliation. More as in more severe, including degradation. More as in exploring the upper limits of any pain toy. Meaning: A paddle can swat you lightly, firmly, or even more intensely. PCW is on the upper limit.
Pain And Pleasure
Pain play can take on many forms, and PCW here has experienced a lot. From various types of impact play like caning, flogging and even whipping. CBT, nipple torment. Erotic electrostimulation, the list goes on. I haven’t had the pleasure of playing with everything on this experienced kinkster list but looking forward to it!
I’m giving you a bit of background to PCW, as the main thrust of this blog is to share our discussion and invite your input!
What Happens Swiming In Subspace
PCW doesn’t enjoy physical pain to the point of total exhaustion, as some enjoy. He explains- there’s a point in his surrender to pain where he feels safe, that he’s now a vessel to be used. Enjoying the feeling and surrender he cannot deny Mistress anything. Even if that’s to serve a cock for her. So as the play progresses, we turn down the physical pain and ramp up the humiliation. Certainly an explosive cocktail for him.
He’s compelled by his submissive surrender, to obey. Humiliation, by ordering him to suck a strap-on, with his hot red ass screaming hot. The spanks have ended but the parachute is still in play. The Nipple clamps with swinging weights encouraged me to instruct him to bend at the waist and wiggle his shoulders. Wrapping his lips around my girl cock, as he does my bidding.
All the while telling him what a dirty deed he’s doing. What would people think of his behavior? Should he be encouraged to step out of the kinky closet? Maybe that’s what needs to happen. No? Then keep pleasing, my cock you dirty slut, I’ll tell you when to stop, understood? The whimper that accompanies my words is such a turn-on!
As I remove the weights and other lovely painful accouterments, he continues his strap-on-sucking activities with my commentary. Does sucking a dildo for Mistress constitute bi-sexuality, could he be GAY? Isn’t an erection a truth-teller? You haven’t lost yours, humm. slut! Perhaps instead of sucking training, we need to move quickly to pegging? Oh, that got me a moan! OK, I’ll consider it.
Aftercare Wise & Words
When all is said and done, PCW needs and wants that aftercare. Some things have been intense and he needs that bridge. To move from: Thumbing his nose at his upbringing with such displays of debauchery to his work day-to-day world. It’s a very important time in any session. He needs to feel valued more then than ever, that his dirty deeds don’t make him a bad person, or a loser. We’ve had some great chats.
I enjoy his soft slow pillow talk after the fun, he’s not the kind of guy who is like: “Well it’s nap time, got a sandwich?”.
It’s during this time the trust was brought up
Pain Pleasure Trust
He said he’s had sessions with women in person and long distance where, in hindsight, he didn’t fully trust them. He enjoyed the sessions and admitted being attracted to their edgy demeanor. It’s what he expected from sessions and had no complaints regarding style or application. But the element of full trust wasn’t there. It wasn’t until he had a session with someone realized upon contemplation, that she had his full trust, The experience with her was way more intense, and the lasting effects reverberated for days in his mind and body. It’s then he realized what was previously missing. Not that there was anything wrong with his previous experiences. His experience, as he tried to explain, was deeper. Knowing without a doubt you are completely cared for, and looked out for, he can then fully experience submitting and letting go.
He realized that some small part of his brain kept (for lack of a better term) alert for danger. But after playing with this one particular woman, and getting to know her in and out of any sessions, the trust grew and enhanced their sessions. Although PCW is thoughtful and articulate he had a hard time explaining the experience other than to say it seemed to be a total emersion he’s not experienced before. Can you help PCW out, have you experienced similar? How do you describe it?
Kinky Play And Trust
What other kinky interactions do you enjoy that trust only enhances? Would you play with someone with minimal trust? Be a part of the conversation by commenting below!
Until We Chat
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I wish i had some input that would be helpful. With PCW’s experience he would be more equipped to help those of us with an interest in pain play and little experience. Especially with live submission to it. I know that the one pain play session W/e shared Mistress Erika there was that fringe of subspace that i did experience. I find some of the degrading or strict toned and demanding talk from You or the Dominant in the scene to add a hot and arousing element.
What does the future hold?
Hello, sweet pet! Leaning in with our continuing building of trust will have you floating in subspace like PCW, you’ll see.
We just finished a session, where I laid out some plans for us. I’m buzzing with excitement! More pain, more submission and some delicious humiliating treats, humm? 😍
And left me throbbing with excitement. Year 2 as Your exclusive property is looking to see my boundaries pushed into deeper submission submission to Your will and fun. Putting more of me into Your own spank bank.
i am humbled to be Yours to use and control.
Mmmmm indeed this year is going to be full of fun, with you as my plaything. 😘😘
Hi Goddess Erika, Very interesting post. 🧎♂️ I remember we did a few sessions involving pain play. We did use a ball crusher once which was amazing. we also used icy hot which had a burning sensation. I especially liked adding weights. i can see where having trust with a mistress would make pain play more fun.
I also think trust is important for our ignore sessions. I trust that Goddess Erika will do it right.
Hello my ignore slave! OMG you are right those were some FUN sessions, *rubs hands together* I miss it so you can expect some similar play
in our next session! OFC I won’t be delighted by your ouches and grunts, but I’ll be happy to know you are burning for me!
Also , you are doing a GREAT JOB Btw, you mentioned about me having more ignore slaves! I had a submissive call me today , they heard/read about our play
and he served me for 30 minutes this morning , while I got some other tasks done! 😘😘 Yea 2025 is gonna be a great year!
Hi Goddess Erika, will we use just the ball crusher with weights or both the ball crusher and the icy hot in our next session. 🧎♂️🧎♂️ I do love the idea of you not being delighted by my ouches and grunts. I don’t think it would be possible to have a ball crusher on for an entire three hour dark room session. or would it be possible?
Hi Slave, yes tis true I like to ensure my property feels adequately controlled but I do NOT want to break my toys! But I know starting the session and ending with it will be perfect for you!
Trust is really a necessary part of almost all BDSM activity. It’s absolutely essential for pain play! Without it the submissive partner will almost certainly experience some fear – and not a fun type. It’s the realization that the dom might truly hurt them. Also, only with trust can a sub truly let go in complete surrender. I’m fortunate enough to be able to do just exactly that with my wife and our pain play is sooo incredibly fantastic! With the possible exception of a few of you awesome mistresses at LDW, I don’t know of anyone else I would be able to do that with.
As for playing with someone with minimal trust, I suppose I could do a little body worship or something similar but NOT with any bondage. I would definitely not indulge in some of the kinkier things I enjoy and with pain play it’s a non starter!
Some great points Michael, for this naughty he felt he trusted the Women, but when he found one he truly did trust (you don’t know what you don’t know) it’s magical!
There are various degree’s of trust, right? When you drive down the road you trust on coming traffic will not veer into your lane! But you wouldn’t necessarily trust them
with your precious possessions, right?
Thanks for stopping by! 😘😘
Trust is crucial. Once trust is established there is a completely new world to explore.
One problem with submissive males is that they are prone to trusting too quickly or easily, and there are examples of that happening that all of us have probably heard of or read about at some point.
There’s a famous scene in the show Ozark where a sultry woman picks up a man in a hotel bar and goes up to his room. Fast forward to people with a room key bursting in and taking photos as he’s in lingerie, restrained to the headboard on the bed and the woman is fucking him in the mouth with a strap-on.
Not a great way to go.
I am absolutely and eternally grateful for my relationship with you, Mistress Erika. I would never have been able to explore as much as we do with anyone else.
You make me feel safe and I am absolutely addicted to you.
Oh look who is here! Hello tom! Thank you for your comment! it’s true I’ve seen it happen that the male subbie so needing to be submissive
allows their good sense to take a nap!
I hear you on ozark, it’s many people fantasy to be exposed and outted “like that” but trust me when I say it’s more fun and exciting in fantasy, many
regret a true discovery by those closest to them!
*pats head* Yes, darling you are on of the original Erika Addicts! 😘😘
I am an insatiable Erika Addict and proud to say that I cannot get off unless I have your girl cock in my mouth.
Wow, pee wee did you just say that in your outside voice !?
No you are not gay you just need to be humiliated by sucking on a bigger cock than yours “to get off”
Wow, how did THAT happen to you? 😁🤭
It happened as a result of constant humiliation and ridicule by strong women when they found out that I’m a short-dicked man.
That led me to Domme porn and small penis humiliation (especially in LEG SHOW magazine), which led me to accept a cuckold mentality.
If I want to be with a strong, sexual woman then my only option is to be her cock-sucking cuckold bitch.
truer words have never been spoken! On your knees my ass needs some kisses
I’m hoping to experience some pain as penance for the disrespectful gazing at your photos on twitter…I owe you my submission and apologies
I am looking forward too dickless!