When a submissive trusts a Mistress it is almost limitless what he/she will do for her. Where does this dance take them? That’s the fun part for them both.  I’ll discuss some examples of “where this takes them” and how important trust is for a D/s connection. and what responsibility each partner has to nurture and grow their trust. They are basic principles we should utilize in all of our relationships, and so very important with BDSM and kink play.

Many Styles Of Kinky Connections

We know there are many different styles of connections,  in person with a professional Dominatrix. Maybe you are into your local BDSM/kink group and you find play partners there.  There are intimate relationships that have a kinky or D/s dynamic for play (sex) and are more or less egalitarian outside of the bedroom. There are lifestyle committed relationships as Dominant and submissive twenty-four-seven. So although some things might be different depending on your connection, much of what I’ll be mentioning today will also apply to all styles. So for this post, I’m going to focus on professional distance domination. Why? Um because that’s what I do!

Building Trust In Your D/s Relationship

There is a lot of trepidation with any first-time session with a new Mistress. Even more so for those reaching out for the first time. So when you reach out and negotiate your session, be it the first few moments on the phone. Via an email or other query, take heed to how she makes you feel, during that time. Is the mood of her responses or requirements not what you expected? Everyone has a style, and if you two don’t fit. You don’t fit. Doesn’t matter if she’s a heaven-sent Goddess, if she requires high protocol and is strict and you are looking for a more sensual or casual style, the trust will be hard to attain. Part of trust is having a commonality, that will help you push through any trepidation and help facilitate a feeling of ease. A submissive yearns to let go and give up control. Can you truly let go if you don’t feel comfortable?

A Submissive Trusts A Mistress When

When a Mistress takes time to listen and pay attention to your skill level and desires, you feel seen and heard. Mistress will guide the conversation to gather the information she needs and ask questions when needed.

Consistency, and having Mistress’ words meet her actions. Did you request a sensual session for your first play and you feel she’s being very strict or demanding and your ideas of sensual do not jive? As a submissive, it is your duty to communicate with Mistress. Every Mistress has her own boundaries when it comes to negotiation and aftercare, and should always give you an opportunity to discuss your experience and hear your feedback. Mistress should always encourage you to communicate, in the way that fits her boundaries. My pets know I’m always open for their reports, I love to get an email about our session, it makes me think of you and smile all over again! Other Mistresses may want you to only discuss things in session.

Celebrating you.  Mistress should always encourage you and celebrate your accomplishments. With any style of Domination, and however, you define a celebration, acknowledging the efforts of others honors you both and raises that trust level.

Building Trust When Things Are Not Perfect

It’s easy to build trust when it’s all butterflies and roses, but what about negativity? I have rarely received negative feedback but when someone mentioned something they didn’t care for, I listened. I appreciated their feedback and we went on to play again, and again and again.  They were not met with a  laundry list of whys and wherefores. Deflecting your thoughts and feelings and going on a tirade of why I’m right and they are wrong.  At the most, they would receive a question or two to clarify their experience for me, but that’s it.  I think the only criticism I can think of ever getting was using a term they didn’t care for, or I was a bit heavy-handed on the Lovense toy!

No harm no foul, and Mistress is here and I “hear you”.

When A Mistress Trusts Her Submissive

She will push those boundaries and you’ll be a joy and a constant source of entertainment and friendship as well as a playmate.  We are real people playing long distance, and it is very real and can be very intense. Some feel that’s not for them. Perhaps they are under the impression it’s not as hot, or impactiful somehow. But the connections I make are very real and the mutual positive impact we have on our respective journeys is adored!

Mistress might even be willing to push her boundaries and engage in play that she never considered! As mentioned, where will the dance take you?

Kinky To Increasing Domination

From an occasional stroke toy, with guided masturbation, and asking for permission to orgasm, as negotiated. I always say yes (per our negotiations) to oh so much more as our journey continues! Do you see your journey in the below? How one behavior led to another, as the trust grows and boundaries are pushed heady elements of increasing amounts of humiliation are introduced. Your boundaries as everyone can read below, were pushed more and more. Pretty much, if I said an activity turned me on, and you could provide it, you absolutely did!

When A Submissive Trusts A Mistress

Boundaries are pushed, consensually. The previous play, and our dynamic build that trust, your submissive mind will naturally open and crave new experiences!  Perhaps try anal for the first time because you trust me so much and know I will take very good care of you. Steps can move swiftly or take time to evolve, for you to come to me and say “I’ve been thinking” or for me to suggest “Have you ever thought of this?”

Slap and Tickle: New to each other, have a great sexy time, and as mentioned above, you edge “Mistress may I cum” Yes. As we continue, on subsequent sessions, maybe one “no” or two, but not much more. The way I handled your cock you keep coming back for more! Makes me smile. One time when you called I edged you quickly, hard over and over saying no, No NO!  I pushed you very hard and you kept that cum in those balls!  Oh the moans, the begs and I taught you how to beg to please me!

Then one day you are curious you read a blog of mine and called. You mention it and it thrills me on many levels. One is “Oh yes, I have him HOOKED, the other is that you are paying attention. You are engaged with me by reading my blogs, and commenting when we are not in session. What blog was it?  Maybe it was a guided masturbation blog, maybe it was chastity? Maybe it was a ruined orgasm blog. But something flipped, a switch, and when you began to engage with me from there on with increasing amounts of control, and yes more trust.

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Asking and Requesting New Play

Months go by, we increase our play. Putting you to more and more challenging “tasks” because I love cock, and well,  you have one. How many edges can you do for me? How long can you last? Hold that edge! OH MY! Our journey is filled with ruined orgasms, they are magical. They make you feel more submissive, and absolutely make me feel that control! I know how HARD it is for a guy to perform an RO, and how easily you learned thrills me!

Of course, our journey your cock is now my property. Locked in a chastity cage or other types of chastity for me, my denial slut. Oh, how sweet are your cries when I redden that ass? The hot swats on that ass as My cock gets harder and leaks so much more, yes, please! Spanking slut.

You came to me with a little anal training but boy oh boy has our play exploded from that prostate massager and Girl cock. You became my anal slut, oh what a ride! You were always a bit of a nipple slut, suckers, and clamps make you moan!

Oh, cum slut is a tasty moniker you’ve earned for me! Naked stroking on cam pounding that sweet starfish with My Girl cock-slut. Humiliation slut, although you always loved being called a slut, I think you will agree the humiliation has ramped up! What did I miss?

So Much Is Possible When a Submissive Trusts A Mistress

This isn’t a must-do list and everyone decides what they would like to play with and what is a hard boundary. What kinks do they wish to play with? Can you identify your journey in any of the above? I hope you can if we have played! Trust is a building block for all healthy relationships and in particular with this erotic play.

Looking forward to your comments!

Until We Chat 💋

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