Hello Kinky BDSM Pain Play Pets! (say that 10x fast!) Your friendly Femdom here! I realized a bit ago that although I write blogs about all types of kinky play I’ve been remiss in the pain department. True I am a Sensual Dominant, but as many know I do have a bit of cruel Mistress for those who respond deliciously to pain play, I lean in! What a thrill to see the agony on your face, the sweat beading on your forehead to hear “Thank you, Mistress, More Mistress!” With this in mind, I’ve employed some of the delicious pain play reports I’ve received from those who enjoy suffering this way for me! Enjoy!
Pain For The Brain
Humiliation is classified as pain play. As we discussed on The Weekly Hot Spot, humiliation like pain play, releases a similar cocktail of hormonal responses, as if I swatted that behind!
It’s not unheard of to incorporate a bit of pain for the brain inside of a BDSM physical impact pain session, either. I love giving a mantra for you to repeat, either before the set and after, or after each swat.
Discipline is caring
My pain humbles me I desire it.
The pain deepens my submission to Mistress.
My Pain is your Pleasure.
These are all things I’ve used before, and more time than not they are tailored to our journey vs being picked out of a list.
Then how delicious is it, when I see you getting tired, knowing that ass, or thighs ( testicles!?) or back are burning and aching for me to instruct you to finish the set with Thank you Mistress, More Mistress.
Pain Implement Review
My Delightful Ms mary who was heavily into pain play early on provided me with many sessions using various implements. I know I respond to various sounds and results of each of these items, and here are mary’s thoughts on the implements.
Brush strikes wide area, sting which goes away quickly. Sound is a slap and can be noisy. Easiest of the three to use on yourself.
Crop Resin Stiff and thuddy. Not so much a sting as an impact. Not much sound, easy to use on yourself. Might bruise if not careful
Cane Thin and flexible. Stingy. Whiplike as it bends around you. Can be intense, leaving welts when others redden the skin. Deliciously wicked sound. Needs some practice to use because of the length. Lingering sting. My favorite. Sometimes a person thinks of welts as a “badge of honor”. Cane is the way to go.
mary also pays attention when Mistress discusses our play implements: I like the cane and its “whippiness”.
Like You, the sound of it swishing through the air is sexy and an indicator of things to come.
In addition to the lovely woosh of the cane, on the phone, I can hear if the swing was clear and accurate, one misstep and you get to start over! “Do it well, I deserve the best, pet!”
Although we have turned our journey in another direction, for now, mary has always served me with great deference and her glorious submission! Sometimes in a submissive journey, various erotic elements ebb and flow as the participant’s needs may ebb or flow, or even evolve! Speaking of Evolving…
Kink Evolution Brings in The Pain
The Next example I want to share with you is equally as delightful! Michael as you may have known from my post about cum eating, and the section Cum eating by the numbers. His evolution started mid-life, with eating his cum (with Enchantrix Mistress’s encouragement!) Soon after, his lust for consuming and slurping that load grew and he is now a bonafide bisexual cocksucker! I spoke to him recently and his 2023 numbers are as follows: 2023-95 Fucks by cock, 971 =Blow jobs, and a whopping 2077 Loads! 2024 -(so far) 19Fuks 234 BJ’s and 451 loads, as you can see his 2024 numbers are up there too! But what does this have to do with pain? Well, our delicious friend has begun a new leg of his journey! CBT aka: Cock and Ball Torment.
We spoke recently and he rolled out his new passion! Not that he’s not giving up that cum, but his journey to his kinky evolution now involves delicious swats to those balls. How? Glad you asked
He has an apple and using that to strike his balls. He also does a rapid-fire swat with his fingers, wow that’s an amazing experience! Here are some words he left me with about his newfound pain play!
striking my balls with the apple, I’m not doing it gently at all (Although not even close to inflicting actual injury) it fucking hurts! And when I’m doing the somewhat less forceful (but certainly not gentle either) rapid method with my hand the pain is quite intense! However, it may not surprise you since you’re experienced with ball busting, CBT, and pain play in general but I’m sure others would be surprised as it surprises the hell out of me still less than a week into my indulgence of this but… I LOVE the pain so very, very much!!! I’m sure I’ll slow down my indulgence, but I’ve been like a kid in a candy store with this revelation. I don’t enjoy it as much as an orgasm, but I have to get pretty close to orgasm before the pleasure becomes more enjoyable. I LOVE the pain of having my balls busted every bit as much as I love any pleasure I have ever received short of very near to orgasm!!! I find myself NOT wanting the pain to stop!!!
His last line is indicative of that subspace, where pain and pleasure intertwine, where it inebriates your mind and you never want to stop!
Important to note: I know Michael, and I trust him. I know he realizes his limits and won’t do permanent bodily harm. Please understand, if you are new to me, there will be a warming up period where I will increase the pain in those balls, checking in often and taking breaks. I’m here to have a smashing good time, but not at the expense of permanent bodily injury. As I often say, I like to take very good care of my toys. Can’t play with them if they are broken, right? LOL
Pain Play Intensity
This blog is already long and I’ve barely brushed the surface! I love using proper candles for wax play, various clamps and clothes pins on sensitive nipples, gonads, and yes that mighty cock! Pain and Funishment often go hand in hand, but there is a way to turn up the heat! With adding weights, swatting clips off! One lesser-noted option for pain play is stress positions. You can search for things like “Submissive poses”, take them and elevate them, and have you freeze in a position, for some time. The wall, for example. Arms length from a wall, up on toes, fingertips only leaning onto the wall. You may think this is easy, but trust me done correctly and for the right amount of time, you will “get my point! This is great as a warm-up, too!
Pain Play And You
What is your experience, if any with pain play? What are you looking forward to experiencing? Comment below! Remember Comments = 💖
I’ve also included a free erotic audio with some swat affirmations for you to try! If you enjoy them then it’s time for you to
Say it: Yes Mistress.
Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com
Pain, physical or mental, for me is the gateway to subspace. It is the detachment from reality, from the discomfort, and existing outside of the pain in order to endure the pain.
Often I desire subspace, some times I need subspace, rarely can I say I enjoy subspace, but I am proud of having been there and likely better off because of it.
It is my hope that you, and any Mistress, enjoys my pain as I am instructed to inflict it.
Hello Wellspanked! Yes, very well said. I would love to know more (email me) what you see as the difference between desiring subspace vs needing it. Might make for some interesting
fodder for a blog!
I can’t speak for all Mistresses, but I do enjoy your pain, it’s arousing on many levels, not just my loins! LOL
Delightful post about a subject near and dear to my heart… erm, actually more like close to my tush 😉…. Those numbers your subby has as put up, well as his implements of pain and CBT , put my own to shame … but it is good for us sissy gurls to have role models & goals !
hello, dickless! Thanks for stopping by! *giggles* “close to your tushy” Truth is Michael is a rare case, who could keep up? Not even MYSELF! LOL
you are a delightful pet, and I have always enjoyed when Ms Constance lends you out for some fun!
I love the pain when I can suffer for my Mistress. I am not an extreme masochist, but I can’t imagine it without pain. When I play alone, I need to put clamps on my nipples (the thick, office ones) I also love hot wax. When aroused, I hardly notice such in pain because the arousal dulls it and so I need it more. The pain, coupled with the feeling of submission to my Mistress is a wonderful stimulus…
I have my limits, but I know one thing for sure, pain is something, it is one of my wildest fantasies…
Thank you for the wonderful article Mistress Erika… I liked it very much.<3
Hi casandra!
nice to see you over at my blog! I am so glad you did, I learned something about you! Clamps and wax, humm? Mmmmmm Yes!
Thanks for stopping by casandra!
Mistress Erika,
I love reading your blog and I’m very honoured to be able to write a comment.
Oh God I love clamps so much and as strong as possible and also wax.:-) I am honored to say something about myself.
It always makes me happy to see you on EE.<3
Have a great day!
Thank you casandra, for all of your support and being so awesome over at Enchantrix!
I’ve never considered this as an option for phone play. I will admit that I really enjoy Brtr Love’s “First Time Ballbusters” videos. The line between pleasure and pain seems like the fulcrum of a see saw at times. Of course Mistress Erika calling the shots would amp it up to another level.
Thank you Dr. Your endorsement means sooo much! So when am I getting to that fine ass of yours? humm? 😘
Thank you sooo much Mistress! It’s such an honor when you write about me. The methods I use that you mentioned above are, of course, when I’m doing it to myself. My wife has several ways also – kicking with her bare feet, driving her knee into them etc… I also use my hand in a slower fashion sometimes. The shocking (to me anyway) discovery that I love this and turning what WAS a hard no into a yes is another whole story in, and of, itself! However, my opinion of pain play has taken a complete 180-degree turn. My wife is more than a little delighted with this as well. We have been experimenting quite a bit with all sorts of things. So far, I’m not really thrilled with most of the other things, but I don’t mind them either and she is having such a good time with it that I do greatly enjoy doing it to make her happy. There are a few other things I enjoy though. Having my balls squeezed can be great and, the first time she put clothes pins on my nipples, I couldn’t believe how much that stung but, after several sessions of that, I kind of like that now too. She also has this thing where she takes all of her fingers and scratches large parts of my body. She does this in a way, though, that doesn’t leave any marks. It’s sort of like being scratched and massaged at the same time – pleasure and pain mixed and I do enjoy that too. Who knows? We may find other things as well. One thing is for certain – a few days short of one month since this great revelation and it has become quite evident that pain play is going to be a big part of my sex life from now on. And, I’m rather happy and excited about that!!!
You are welcome Michael and thank you for the inspiration! I am so looking forward to where you new found love of pain play will take us!
Me too! 😀 I just had my first ever feel of electric stimulation today. It was only from a paddle and on my arm since I was at a store but, anyway, I’m very interested in exploring that more.
Woo hoo! F-Yes!
Hi Goddess Erika, I love pain play and that still happens on sessions with you even of the dark room variety. It happened last time with you boots. I still remember the session with icy hot and a ball crusher we had back when you actually talked to me in a session. 🧎♂️🧎♂️🧎♂️🧎♂️ I wonder if ignore/neglect calls can be considered a form of pain play though?
I barely remember your voice! 😉 Yes, ignore and neglect play can be considered pain play 😘
It isn’t surprising you barely remember my voice. 🧎🏿♂️🤣 After all i haven’t spoken on a session with you in over three and a half years. October 2020 was our last normal session. I wonder how many more sessions will it take for you to completely forget my voice. No one should ever go near the phone on one of my sessions ever again. 👍😂🥱
Well from what I remember, you have a unique voice so it might take a few more years! 😘
Hello Ms Erika, I just wanted to say that I like the photograph at the top of this blog of the lady wearing stockings and black underpants. i am a slave/submissive to Ms Hunter (who is ably assisted by Ms Olivia) and they both know how fascinated I am by ladies who wear black underpants.
Hello Mr Wimpy wet knickers! my my you serve two fantastic women, how lucky are YOU? VERY
Black underpants, humm? I’m surprised your alias isn’t “Mr Wimpy wet underpants”
But you know as I type this out, don’t I know you? I seem to remember an email a while ago about discussing your preferred wording for women’s undergarments worn around her nether regions.
You have a very strong connection to Underpants, yes? Or is my memory playing tricks on me, and it was someone else? Possible, not probable tho.
Hello Ms Erika, Your observations are correct. Ms Hunter has put me under strict orders to refer to her lower-body underwear and that of all other ladies as ‘underpants’, and Ms Olivia assists her in enforcing that rule. The logic of it is: It is the ladies at LDW (Ladies Dominate the World) who are in charge and call the shots i.e. they wear the pants! What they wear under those pants can therefore be referred to as ‘underpants’. By contrast, I as a mere male wear something else (i.e. knickers or panties). I instantly feel submissive when Ms Hunter and Ms Olivia refer to their own underwear as ‘underpants’. Have a nice day!
Fantastic, thank you for the clarification! So I did remember something (impressed myself!) just not the nuances. Interesting! I wonder how many others
find these turn of terms interesting? Mr Wimpy wet knickers, are you a member of Enchantrix Empire? If so perhaps you should post a poll, that would be
fun!
You sound like a delightful submissive, they are both fantastic, I am sure you consider yourself very very lucky! 😘😉
Hello again, Ms Erika, thank you for the compliment. If I’m a delightful submissive, that will be because Ms Hunter and Ms Olivia have trained me very well. They’re both awesome ladies – witty, charming, intelligent, sexy, and very, very tough! I wouldn’t dare disobey their orders!! In answer to your question, no, I’m not a member of the Enchantrix Empire. I suspect I wouldn’t have time to follow all the blogs and activities. Washing and mending Ms Hunter’s and Ms Olivia’s underpants all day keeps me busy!
Delightful! thanks for the update! Mending them? humm you must be an expert at tatting! Busy hands = obedient submissive! Very good!
Please accept my gratitude for Your sharing such a thought provoking blog on a topic i consider myself experienced in. You know how much I enjoy most types of sensation play. There is such delightful naughtiness in building the trust and respect requisite for me to gift a Mistress with my submission to Her masochist needs.
Negotiations and safe words are necessary as a starting point before moving into the play scene. Whether it be direct physical contact of a soothing touch, gentle tweak of a ripple, scratch from Your nails, or squeeze of my family jewels in Your palm, or underfoot, or using clamps, clothespins, floggers, paddles, or cane’s.
Even though i detest pain, i see my willingness to endure as part of the gift of my submission to help You soar higher into Your Domme’ space to enhance Your pleasure, which of course enhances mine.
i like Your thoughts that humiliation can release similar Endorphins to impact play, yet is a hard No for me in scene play.
i know some BDsm purist don’t think of sex as being an integral part of a scene, or even the lifestyle, I prefer to incorporate an opportunity for myself to reorient to gravity in affectionate after care with the privilege of alleviating any physical yearnings Mistress may have experienced while soaring in Her yielded power, if She might be in the mood. Yet aftercare must always be steeped in appreciation of my efforts and that all is good between us and any sense of being punished has abated.
Gratitude again for this topic and the opportunity to share my thoughts with You, and perhaps some of Your many fans. i eagerly look forward to our next appointment to avail my open mind and willing body to satisfy Your mood of the moment anywhere along the kink continuum we enjoy together.
So eloquent! Thank you Kneel for stopping by and being a part of the conversation!
It is true that not all pain play is pain for the brain, but for those who whish to forgo physical pain
in exchange for humiliation, it’s good for them to know it is still “pain play” of sorts. 😘😘
Mistress Erika from the way I have behaved in the past. I deserve a good spanking . But after chastity and ultimate penial shrinkage I am a truly changed person. Come see me on Tumblr April Shirley Tucker or email me
Hey April thanks! Tumblr doesn’t like me !
Mistress Erika is this possible that you are too naughty for Tumbir?
yea they didn’t like the idea I was a professional femdom, go figure
I certainly can understand that because you are real. While the majority of the Tumbirs are total fakes just trying to hussle gift cards tributes etc . When they ask me for a tribute I say Hail Caesar .