Submissive male types is a subject I may have talked about before, but it is such an important subject it bears repeating! Part of what I like to do on my bog, aside from having some sexy fun, is to inform and educate!
Today’s Lesson: There is no one way to be a submissive male! Many who don’t fit into the stereotype of a “porn sub”, a broken male, powerless and at at the behest of a capricious sadistic female, often struggle with their submissive side. They don’t identify with the submissive they see. So who are they? What are they?
This list isn’t intended to be all encompassing and even with each genre there a subsets of submission. I would love to hear from you, what type of submissive stimulation gets your undivided attention!
Understanding Submissive Male Types
For those who are unsure or just learning about Domination and submission (D/s) it is not a a brain burner. Being a submissive simply means you acquiesce to the desires of another! You submit and allow yourself to be led. See. not really complicated and not so scary! Not really that emasculating either, if you drill it down.
When you drill down the interaction of male and female, it is self evident of your intended purpose! You were created to serve! You are hardwired to please! It is simply written in your DNA cards. You are given a very strong biological directive! That biological directive means you need access to having sex with another In order to get that (sex), you need to impress and please them. The only thing we do with Domination (D/s) play is focusing on that directive, exploiting it for both of our pleasures.
How all the sexy exploitation plays out, is highly subjective. This is where it gets interesting! Finding out about you, your thoughts and desires mixing them with my experience and sense of fun, and creating a fantastic experience for us both is what I love to do! So let’s get right down, to the down and dirty!
I’m going to start off talking about erotic humiliation and submission. Being humbled, acknowledging your purpose and place resides, at some level, with most of our submissive play. Humiliation is an erotic tool. It’s not necessarily reflective of you as a person. Humiliation arouses some just like breasts, legs or toys arouse another. Much like other stimuli that is at my disposal, I wield that tool as needed. Humiliation is a TYPE of play, during submissive sessions not necessarily a type of submissive male. I only mention it because it’s a common thread with many submissive male types.
Keep a keen eye on the following types of submissive males, and see where you can find humiliation. Be it sensual and implied, to overt and harsh, humiliation encompasses a vast arena.
Some might think this type of submissive is an oxymoron, a submissive male and feminization? Wouldn’t you just be a submissive female? Although the act of feminization IS a type of “Play” it warrants it’s own category as submissive male types because the feminization is how they express their submissive nature. That’s the beauty of this type of submission. We erode your masculinity, while increasing your femininity humbling you and sending you to that subspace.
A common phrase for those into feminization is they feel humbled, weak and powerless as I order them into panties, bra’s and other feminine accoutrements. Sometimes the feminization stops at panties, that is enough humbling for them. Other times, what starts out as feminization through panty play leads to a fully dressed, pampered and painted bet!
This is where the power exchange resides, with feminization play. You submit your mind and body to me, to be feminized. Often, for many, no other play is needed to get that lovely subspace. Other times, it’s just where the good times start! As my feminized submissive you please me by being my ultimate creation of your feminine self.
This submissive male type is your stereotypical submissive we see “out there” in webland. Masochistic, and pain is the way for this type of submissive. Collared, tied sometimes with chains while a devious and delicious Mistress applies her art. You as her canvas, may receive a cane, whip or paddle. Nipples are often sensitive so toys to attach with suction cups, or clips will be utilized.
For those into CBT, a nice bound cock, with a few swats applied “just so”. Mm I just got an image of my lovely patent leather stiletto, teasingly and tormentingly close to those oh so vulnerable testicles. The tip of the shoe bearing down on a nice set of juicy balls. Mmmm! Other included activities might include face slapping, creating artwork with a flogger on your back.
The pain elicits natural hormonal reaction in your body, transforming that pain into pleasure. Releasing stress and pent up emotions, the submissive now has permission to express.
Erotic Submissive Male type is an alpha and a leader in the rest of his life. But finds it an erotic respite from the stress with his submission. His mind and body are mine to control and enjoy! He’s not submissive in any other sense of the word until it comes to his sexuality, and then only “sometimes is submissive” The play can include all or just some of the other kinky play I talk about. But the focus for this play is always sex and orgasm, even if it’s a tease an delay play, for a day, week or more!
Reserved and shy, this submissive male type truly takes pleasure with making others happy. Some also refer to this submissive male type as a service submissive. Performing acts of service, like housework or other chores to alleviate my burdens. Sometimes the natural submissive feels comfortable and at home being seen as a slave. His needs are not mentioned or even a concern for his owner. Rubbing her feet, drawing a bath. Paying for manicures and other pampering just to see me smile his is reward.
The Brat Submissive
A brat submissive is one who likes to push my buttons, purposely tries to draw my ire. Either before the scene by being obtuse, or a smart ass. They like when we establish rules so they can dance on that line and cross it as many times as needed to get a rise out of me.
Some demonstrate an innocent coy approach, others a bit more distasteful: The “but Mistress I” brat. I don’t know if that’s a common term but it’s the image that soars through my mind when you put up reasons why you can’t do as I ask. “but Mistress, I can’t do that.” Or “I couldn’t do my task…”. I take a great deal effort creating tasks for my pets, with their boundaries and field of play in mind. So I know when giving you the task that it falls well within those boundaries. To then resist by bemoaning your task, is disingenuous and immature.
Often brat play just leaves me laughing as I don’t take you seriously as a submissive. I’m a grade A smart ass and if you wanna play, let’s dance. Just be upfront and honest, tell me you are a brat! I’ll roll right along with it.
Topping From The Bottom Brat
Another brat approach is attempting to unhinge me by directing the scene. This submissive thinks they will get “true” domination this way. They somehow think I cannot exact strict control or get the best of me/my domination without my emotions running high. The fool. Rarely does any pet draw my ire without My consent. To become upset with you, for whatever reason, lessons my control and power. Why? Well anger can affect how well you think. I’m not making this up. From psychology today:
When our thinking gets temporally impaired like these examples above, it is like we are operating with 10-15 fewer IQ points. The light goes out in the prefrontal cortex, which is our executive functioning and decision-making region of the brain.
I do not give up my power. Know that.
You see, topping from the bottom be it brat play or not, before we play (in any way) we negotiate. This doesn’t have to take long, but it is invaluable to us both. What boundaries are in play and what is the scope of play. I’m all in when it comes to consensual play. I would never disrespect you by making you suck my dildo, if you said that is on the no fly zone. In turn, I expect you to trust me, to do as you seek: and submit. Truly submit, and ride the waves as we journey together down that rabbit hole.
You won’t regret it.
Until We Chat ????
Intelligent Phone Fantasy Mistress Erika
Astute and informative. Thank you for recognizing that submission is not a one size fits all, for making the effort to understand them in general and in each individual. I can speak first hand that it is one of the many things that make your domination potent and intoxicating.
As to your comments on topping from the bottom. I see it often as someone who wants to hear or see specific things, but doesn’t trust that the negotiation before hand will get it for them. They might as well just provide a script, as it would serve them better and not create friction. Although maybe it is that they want to create friction and frustration, in which case they would still probably be better served negotiating that?
Thank you for your efforts in allow us to serve as fits us.
Hi WS! Thank you for your comments, and appreciation! I agree sometimes the pet doesn’t have patience for me to guide them where I’m leading and want to jump to “whatever”. Often with new pets, I’m patient, then we’ll talk a bit after about what was going on at the time. It usually does only happen with newer pets.
it’s no surprise to me that you understand us so well! You are as natural a Femdom as i am a natural submissive!….who LOVES a bit of pain and humiliation!….#NoMercy!
Hey Prissy! Thanks for stopping by! Surprisingly enough, I do have Mercy, at times. But usually not for sissy sluts like you, I love pulling out my #NoMercy Mindset for you!
Hi Goddess Erika. I am not surprised that You do have Mercy. I also know You show #NoMercy for losers like me. ????????♂️????????♂️????????♂️
???? can you read emoji?
Good morning mistress. Outstanding post as usual. I feel that I’m the erotic submissive with a splash of pain, and maybe topping from the bottom. But throughout our relationship you have always provided me with exactly what you think I need. Be it ruined orgasms with prof to you, or having me slip into a pair of panties for you. No matter what you have me do the moment I hear your sultry voice for me it is impossible for me to resist you. “Resistance is futile “. I can’t thank you enough for taking me to where I need.
Hi Bob! Good to see you here. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences! You are very welcome, pet. ????
I’m the submissive feminization male who wants to be dressed turned and kept as a girl!!! And it’s happened with you/Ms Daphne keeping me as a girl in being dressed up as a girl on all our Skype calls. I’m soo glad both of you own and made me your boy turned into your girlfriend. This is who I am and become as both of you are right in saying I look better as a girl. I want to tell my cabi friend this as well. She said I look better as a girl. And it’s time to dress up as a girl whenever I see her on weekly visits. I’m soo tempted to tell her I have feminization mistresses but afraid what her reaction will be ????????????????. But with 2022 upcoming I want to start wearing my bras panties wigs makeup lipstick dresses leggings yoga pants blouses women’s turtleneck sweaters boots and heels as being a submissive sissy girl is way better then being the alpha male.
Hi Hunny bunny! You are our sweet sissy girl! I’m looking forward to you wearing your girlie clothes more and more as well! You are right, cabi friend might not “get it”.
I want my mind and body to be fully in your control,Erika.
Can’t wait to get in subspace with something other than my dildo.
And I bought a pair of panties, not so bad.
LOL Oh R! You did! And you say “they don’t work” look at you , panties! Ha!! You’ll have to show me sometime! ????????????
Good post Goddess Erika. I guess i could be a few different types of a submissive. Though closer to a Natural Submissive.????????♂️????????♂️????????♂️????????♂️???????? As i have always felt the need to be subservient in life. I was wondering if there could be an ignored submissive?
I learned about the bottom brat or the submissive brat. I didn’t think that was possible. I learned something new.
slave! It is a fine line between submissive male types and submissive male types of play! Ignore would be a type of play. It’s easy to intermingle them! Like the pain pet, that is a type of play but also a submissive male type: physical masochist. Glad you learned something new!
Mistress Erika, I think I’m a mix of types. I genuinely want to be of service, and be an asset to a dom. I actually felt bad when I got sick and couldn’t hunt pics for you. I was enjoying being of use to you with nothing but a cruel word in return. I also enjoy (safe) cruelty within the bounds of play. I mean, if you saw me on the street, tipped my wheelchair over, took my wallet, and left me to die, no, I wouldn’t like that (although I do fantasize such scenarios). But, if I do a day’s work for you and you call me a disgusting worm, WITHOUT thanking me, I get off on that. Does that make sense?
Yes it makes sense, you are a pain pet and the details of that pain are the way you play!
Have a good day, worm. Or not, who cares ? No one concerns themselves with the comfort level of worms, now, do they? ????
Of course, Mistress Erika. As long as I do my work, my discomfort is probably trivial to you, if not welcome. Have a fabulous night, my Mistress. ????♂️????????
???????? yes, the only concern I have is how you can serve /entertain/please me.
As it should be, Mistress Erika. ????????
Great blog Mistress. I would fall in to the category of natural submissive as I get great joy in pleasing my Mistress. I am not into humiliation or pain but it is humiliating to serve my Mistress. That being said I also know if I do something wrong and piss off my Mistress I am due a large dose of verbal humiliation and pain as I deserve it. Nothing gives me more pleasure than hearing my Mistress laugh or giggle.
Hey Cslut! Interesting words! Not into humiliation but humiliating to serve? Tee hee…….. what a double edged sword!
Thanks for stopping by !! ????
What I meant is I am not into verbal humiliation. That doesn’t get me off but serving a Mistress especially in a cfnm scene is humiliating and my goal is always to please my Mistress
I love this subject! I have experimented in a few different areas of submission, as you know????. I feel I have settled into a comfortable role as a “confident submissive.” Once accepting my homosexuality, which was a journey of discovery all its own, I then had to discover where I fit in THAT realm. As a 100% bottom, there’s clearly a desire to cede power and to please. Yet, I do not enjoy pain or degradation. I’m a proud gay bottom. Yes there is some humiliation that I enjoy but that has more to do with the former women in my life poking fun and accepting me switching teams. I’m absolutely loving where I’m at right now. Thanks for the blog post and everything you do! Happy holiGAYS!
LOL Hey Aaron! Yes, I remember days where we played with humiliation, in a playful “OMG I just KNEW you were gay!” , I’m so proud of you and overjoyed I am part of your coming out journey! Happy HOLIGAYS to you! LOL
Makes me smile to know that I was putting out a vibe that I couldn’t hide no matter how hard I tried. Just goes to show you that a person can’t hide their true colors. And mine are ????
That open window… that i thought only i could see through! How naive. Yes i freely admit ive had my deepest and darkest exposed to those i wanted to hurt the least. Always be careful…but be honest…CITA
Wise Words, indeed. Take heed! ((HUGS))
Yes. Very wise words. But being found out is a path to revealing one’s true self. Hurting those close to you is never fun, but hiding your true self hurts you.
Your insights make me very uncomfortable…
My insights make you uncomfortable? How about those fem panties and pink clitty ring? Not as uncomfortable? ha ha!
My fem panties and pink clitty ring make me crave your small penis humiliation